Solving moral problems according to Yu.A. Schrader

So we need a strategy for action. Otherwise, our life will be full of unpleasant surprises, and your goals will not be achieved.

Only by choosing yourself do you have every chance of getting exactly what you want, but by allowing you to choose for you, you will only be a convenient object for the implementation of someone else’s life plans, and God forbid that they coincide at least a little with yours.

Each person is the architect of his own happiness. He, and only he, knows what he needs from life. He, and only he, can live his life in such a way as to achieve his goals and get everything he likes from life.

Having a clear strategy of action, you are sufficiently insured against accidents, because your life is in your hands.

Laziness and inaction are the main components of our failures in life.

“He’s selfish,” they say about one of our acquaintances, and this is by no means a compliment. God forbid, they will say the same about us. That's why we so often try to look nice, diligently adapt to other people's opinions and are ready to sacrifice our interests even where this is not at all necessary.

But why do we so often encounter the fact that few people think of defending our positions? Is it because the accusation of selfishness is just a convenient formula with which you can make you forget about your interests and take advantage of others for yourself?

Have you been accused of selfishness? It's OK. Ultimately, this only means that your interests do not coincide with the interests of the one who dared to accuse you of selfishness, and he simply does not benefit from what benefits you.

If we do not have a strategy with which we can filter such reproaches, they will bully us throughout our lives. So, unprofitable compromises lead away from the goal.

The only consolation that remains for you is the realization that you are a sweet and very likable person.

Are you required to be honest? Solidarity with someone's opinion? Are you reminded again and again of your sense of responsibility? Look around, and you will understand that they simply want to achieve the desired behavior from you once again. Necessary! But to whom? Let us not forget that if the world were filled entirely with honest, hard-working, helpful people who lived their lives and allowed others to live theirs, nothing would stand in the way of our personal happiness.

Think about yourself. In the end, the main thing is to be true to yourself, honest with yourself, in solidarity with your own opinion and be responsible, first of all, for yourself.

How can you talk about fidelity if you are ready to betray yourself every minute?

You, and only you, have the right to make claims against yourself.

If you are faced with a choice to do or not do something, ask yourself a simple question: “What good does it do for me?” And the stupid thoughts “What will others say?” get it out of your head.

Rule 2: Improve what you have

I don't know if the name Pablo Casal means anything to you. This is one of the most outstanding musicians of our time. He died in 1974 at the age of ninety-seven. Pablo Casal was a conductor and composer, taught music and organized music festivals. He played the flute, violin, piano, organ and cello. But his main instrument was the cello.

Critics argued: “Whoever has not heard Casal cannot imagine how a string instrument can sound.” The musician himself writes in his memoirs: “For the last eighty years, every day has begun the same way for me, and this is very important to me. I sit down at the piano and play two preludes and fugues by Johann Sebastian Bach. At this moment I experience an incredible feeling - that I am human.”

Just imagine: a man goes to the piano every morning for eighty years and plays two preludes and fugues by Bach. This fills him with happiness and gives him a sense of full human existence. He doesn’t need anyone, neither critics nor numerous admirers of his talent. He just sits down at the piano and plays the same preludes and fugues. And nothing else! And the more he plays Bach, the deeper he penetrates into his music, the more he gets from this music for himself.

Who do you think belongs to his music and his life? To him, and only to him.

He does not allow chance or other people to decide for him whether he should play in the morning or not. He plays no matter what streak he has in life, black or white; whether he is at his home in Puerto Rico or with friends in New York.

He is happy.

But we don't. And do you know why?

Here are three main reasons why most of us are dissatisfied with our lives:

- firstly, we always believe that there is something more important and meaningful than what we have already done and have on this moment ;

- Secondly, we are always dissatisfied with ourselves and always want to be something we are not in any way;

- and thirdly, We don’t know how to be happy with what we have. Instead of improving the abilities inherent in us, we rush from side to side in search of something new, completely forgetting what we have at hand.

Rule 3. Don’t shift responsibility for your life onto someone else’s shoulders.

The easiest way to get rid of responsibility is to rely on the opinion of the majority.

So is it worth wasting your life on eternal excuses? Your success depends only on yourself.

1. We do not depend on how our achievements are assessed, but only on our own assessment. To put it simply, we no one will spoil the mood except ourselves.

2. We can put all our energy into work instead of wasting it on finding a suitable excuse for our own failure.

3. Any of our goals and its achievement is our only problem. Under this condition, the more we delve into solving a problem, the more pleasure we get from the work process itself. The one who has already chosen an excuse for himself has admitted in advance the possibility of defeat. Such work is unlikely to be a joy; rather, it will be perceived as hard and sometimes backbreaking work.

4. If any undertaking is crowned with success, then I will be sure that I achieved it myself. This will undoubtedly increase my confidence in my abilities and allow me to solve even more complex problems, completely relying on myself.

5. If I fail, I will know that, despite the effort, I made a mistake. Instead of deceiving myself and others, I can find this mistake and gain useful experience that will be useful to me in the future. I will almost certainly not make such a mistake again.

So let's repeat it again:

— For everything I do, I am responsible myself.

— In case of failure, I look for reasons first of all in myself.

- If I am not ready to accept responsibility, then it is better to refuse possible benefits than to make myself dependent on others.

To avoid problems in the future, remember the following:

1. Don't let flattery, promises or threats influence you. Calmly consider whether you can take on the responsibility that they want to assign to you. Also consider what your chances are of successfully completing the task.

2. If you come to the conclusion that you have only been given responsibility, but not given the opportunity to do the job properly, then demand the necessary help or authority. Otherwise, you will be responsible for other people's mistakes and miscalculations, and this is of no use to you.

3. Your most dangerous partners are people who get down to business, although they themselves are not able to solve the problem, and sometimes even understand it. Surely you are familiar with similar people. These are those who always say “I will,” and for many reasons do not know how to say “no.” And all because of the fear of losing the position, authority or respect that they think they enjoy. Most often, such people know very well that this task is almost or completely impossible, and yet they meekly undertake its solution. What do you think they are thinking? Right. Their first goal is to shift responsibility onto someone else's shoulders.

To want to be something other than oneself is to want to become nothing. V. Klyuchevsky

How do others evaluate us? According to our achievements. The successful and strong are respected, while the losers and weaklings are despised. Let's put it simply: if you want to be respected, assert yourself.

Remember, there is a huge difference between what exactly we want ourselves and what they want from us. Anyone who wants to stop this meaningless, essentially endless race and enjoy the results of his achievements must check everything he does in accordance with the following two criteria:

1. Whether this achievement brings you any benefit or not.

2. Do you strive for new achievements because of their prestige, and if so, to what extent.

Recognition from others. We are so enchanted by it that we think only of the triumph of victory and forget about the consequences.

Here is a very instructive list of those who benefit from our focus on prestige.
It is beneficial:

- to the state, because it can always put us in our place and show us what we are really worth;

- manufacturing companies, because a huge number of their goods are bought not out of necessity, but for reasons of prestige;

- superiors, because prestige-oriented people are easier to manage;

- a successful environment, because it will always be able to demonstrate its superiority over us;

- family and friends, if they themselves are focused on the same prestigious values ​​as you.

I do what makes me happy. I don't care what people say. The priority is self-realization.

Let me remind you of the main principles on which the strategy of a reasonable egoist is built:

- firstly, a reasonable egoist never makes himself dependent on others. Only those who live their own lives and are able to forge their own happiness without relying on outside help are truly independent;

- secondly, a reasonable egoist never shifts responsibility for his life onto the shoulders of others.

A woman who does not have a strategy for her own happiness should not be surprised that her husband will never make her happy.

Don’t expect anyone to help you - this is the first rule of life in this world, in which everyone is for themselves.

If everyone took more care of themselves, there would be a lot fewer unhappy people in the world.

Living your own life, defending your interests, achieving your own and not other people’s goals is the true path to happiness, and I think you and I are on the same path...

Free choice and full responsibility for our choice - this is the only way we can truly become masters of our destiny.

If you live the way you like, you won’t interfere with others.

Stage four: decide what you need to give up in order to achieve what you want.

All you have to do is make a list of what you want. Then, leaving in it only what is more pleasant to you, cross out everything else. Next, check the list with your real capabilities, record the latter on paper and, in accordance with them, cross out what does not “fit into them.”

██ ██ Do you love yourself? If yes, then why do you need the “opinion of others”, don’t you have your own? There is no such thing as “the opinion of others.” There is simply a person who dictates his opinion to everyone! It's not you? It's a pity. You are a wonderful person, but you are not selfish. Selfishness is the art of loving and respecting yourself, believing in yourself and achieving everything you want. Do you master this art? Put your opinion above the opinions of others, learn to make decisions and take responsibility for them. Feel the strength in yourself, become selfish! Model your life the way you want it, and you will see for yourself: your desires will begin to come true, you will be successful, and most importantly, a truly happy person.

“I appeal to the reader with a request to do a small experiment on himself - try to imagine himself as an actor (subject) of the specific everyday situations listed below and decide which of them pose the problem of moral choice to the subject. It doesn't matter to me what choice the reader makes in these situations. (It is possible that he will choose a possibility that I did not envisage.) All that matters to me is which of them he considers situations of moral choice. I will not hide the catch hidden in this issue. This is not a test where the true meaning of the questions should not be clear to the person being tested. If in at least two cases you decide that we're talking about about moral choice, I will assume that for you the situation of moral choice is real. In this case, the book offered to your attention, I hope, will be of interest to you. However, do not rush to put it aside if you have not recognized the reality of moral choice in any of the cases offered to you. It is possible that studying this book will help you realize this reality. And for the sake of discovering a new reality, it is completely justified to spend effort getting acquainted with the book.

So, you have several situations before you. Which of them are you ready to claim that they pose a problem of moral choice to the subject?

1. The authorities offered you a very honorable position that meets your capabilities and aspirations, but asked not to disclose this offer until the holder of this position, X, with whom you have long-standing friendly relations and is highly respected, is retired. You have to choose between agreeing, refusing, and trying to consult with X first, violating the direct instructions of your superiors. (It is likely that X will tell his superiors about your attempt, and this is fraught with complications.)

2. The doctor told you that your loved one’s illness is fatal. You have to decide for yourself whether to communicate this diagnosis to the patient.

4. Immediately after the Chernobyl disaster, the USSR leadership made a decision Not disseminate information about the real scale of radioactive danger. The disaster itself turned out to be the consequence of a decision made by the management of the nuclear power plant to conduct an experiment with one of the nuclear reactors - to put it into critical mode in order to obtain useful data on the properties of the reactor. Were those responsible for making these decisions faced with a moral choice?

5. Mom sent the child to the store to do some shopping. He can obediently carry out the order or give in to his natural desire and spend part of the money on ice cream. Is this choice moral?

6. You are walking down the street in the evening with a heavy object in your hand (for example, a hammer). In front of you, two hooligans attack a woman. You can walk by unnoticed, try to persuade the bullies, try to exert force on them, or simply hit one of them over the head with a hammer. Is it a question of moral choice or only the choice of effective action?

7. You have serious reasons to suspect your neighbors that they are preparing a terrorist attack in a certain place, but you are not completely sure of this. You can warn by telephone about the place and time of the impending act, inform the police of the names of the alleged terrorists, try to get in touch with them and dissuade them from their plan, etc. Is there a moral problem facing you?

8. You are the only person who can swim well among those sitting in the boat. The boat has capsized and you are faced with a choice of who to save first. How will the situation change if, according to you, your strength is barely enough to swim to the shore yourself?

9. Imagine that you live in Soviet times, when holding even a small administrative position required membership in the Communist Party. You have a choice; join the CPSU or refuse an attractive prospect for promotion. (Of course, a lot depends on how you evaluate membership in the CPSU: do you associate personal responsibility for terrorism and other crimes with it?) Try to imagine a similar situation of choice in other times in other countries. Remember in what situation and who said the words: “Paris is worth a mass.”

10. You pass by a lottery barker inviting you to buy tickets. At the same time, he promises that those who bought five tickets that did not win will receive the money back. Your choice is simple; buy a certain number of tickets or ignore these calls. It is easy to understand that the lottery is designed in such a way that, with a high probability, one out of five tickets is winning, but the size of this winning is much less than the price of five tickets. So, the promise of damages is based on an easily undetectable deception. (Otherwise the organizers would not have received any income.) But the question for the reader is not what are his chances of winning. (We can immediately say that they are much less than the lottery organizers have.) The reader has to decide whether this situation has a moral aspect for its participants?

The point of the questions posed to the reader is not to decide what should be done in the given situations. These are questions for self-examination, does the reader have any doubts that what is being said here is what should be done?”

Schrader Yu.A., Ethics. Introduction to the subject, M., “Text”, 1998, p. 20-22.

We want to tell you about an amazing and very simple technique of 7 questions that will allow you to assess the situation from different points of view, get rid of doubts and develop the ability to perform right choice to a new level.

WARNING: You may not always like the answers, but in the end they will help you accept correct solution.

1. What would I choose if it were not for fear?

Unfortunately, too many decisions in our lives are made for us by our own fears and stereotypes. Certainly, successful businessmen They are mindful of all the risks they take in their choices, but they are also mindful of their fears in doing so. If you feel obstacles, write down (literally!) all your fears and doubts and carefully work through them with someone who will help you be objective. Sometimes the choice that causes us the most fear is the best one.

2. What would I choose if it were not for money?

What do you think: many brilliant ideas were never implemented due to lack of money? Or is there no money because these ideas were not implemented? Will you deny yourself development and moving forward if you feel like you don’t have enough money for it? No matter how fantastic it may sound, if you made the right choice, there will always be money. Remember crowdfunding? crowd funding, сrowd- "crowd", funding- “financing”). You can also turn to relatives, friends, acquaintances for help, or simply let those around you know that you are looking for an investor. And don’t let money, or rather the lack thereof, stop you.

3. What's the worst and best that could happen?

As a continuation of the previous two questions, draw yourself on paper a mental map of all the possible consequences of all possible decisions. List the positive, negative, tangible, and insignificant results that your choice will entail. In most cases, the best solution will become obvious on its own.

4. What have my previous experiences taught me?

Every experience in life, whether positive or negative, teaches us valuable lessons. Defeats in our lives happen only when, when we have not learned any lesson for ourselves. The rise is as valuable a lesson as the fall. Think back to your previous ups and downs and think: is your previous experience telling you what to do in a given situation?

5. Does this match my vision?

Ask yourself a question: do you really need this or are you agreeing out of necessity, although you are turning in a completely different direction than where you are striving? After all, one of the main factors for success is consistency, so always keep in mind whether this decision aligns with your vision and whether it will derail you from your course?

6. What do my soul and body tell me?

Think about your last choice that you regret—didn’t your inner voice or body give you signals that you shouldn’t do that? If you feel physical discomfort when making a decision or your inner voice is quietly discouraging you, listen to these signals. They may not coincide with what you are leaning towards at the moment, but the subconscious mind is much more aware of how this choice will affect you in the future.

7. How will I look at myself in the mirror tomorrow?

Finally, about the future. How will you feel the next day after you make this or that decision? If you feel proud, energized and inspired, you are on the right path. If you notice shame or regret in yourself, do not ignore these feelings. If you are experiencing them now, prepare for the worst.

For the full picture, think about what you will experience as a result of your choice in a week/month/year. You can also take 5 or 10 years for big decisions that have a significant impact on your entire life.

Conclusions: How to make the right choice?

Save this image to your desktop. Post it on your Facebook / Twitter / Instagram / LinkedIn / VKontakte. Finally, print it out and hang it above your desk. And every time you feel doubt when making a choice, answer each of these 7 questions. Believe me - it works.

From this article you will learn:

• What to do if you are trapped
• Ways to pacify emotions
• Decision making methods

What to do if you are a leader and you are faced with a difficult choice? Remember, as in a fairy tale: execution cannot be pardoned, dismissal cannot be left, and it is unclear where to put a comma. In this article we will talk about several ways to make the right decision. This will help not only businessmen, but also ordinary people who find themselves in a difficult situation.

If you are trapped

Stress affects a person in different ways: some withdraw into themselves, some worry and don’t sleep at night, some become hysterical and take it out on loved ones. One thing remains unchanged: a person seems to fall into the trap of his own psyche; he is often unable to make a choice on his own and acts under the influence of emotions or his close environment.

Time shows that impulsive and ill-considered decisions are ineffective and can ruin your business, your career, your relationships, in the end. Remember: all serious decisions are made with a cool head. Therefore, before you put into practice the methods described below, do this: turn off your heart and turn on your head. We'll show you how.

There are several ways to pacify emotions:

• short- breathe correctly. Take 10 deep, slow breaths - this will help you calm down;
• medium term- imagine that your friend finds himself in such a situation and asks you for advice. What will you tell him? Surely throw away all emotions and try to look at the situation detachedly, objectively. So try it;
• long-term- take a time out. Just let the situation go for a while, do other things, and return to it after a week or month. This way you will kill two birds with one stone: firstly, you will cut off impulsive decisions and will not cut from the shoulder. And secondly, the right decision will ripen in your head like a ripe fruit - you just need to give it time.

Decision making methods

Now that emotions no longer influence your choices, let's talk about eight reliable methods for making decisions.

1. Pros and cons method

Use the good old method: take a sheet of paper and a pen, draw the sheet in half. In the left column write all the advantages of the chosen solution, in the right column - respectively, the disadvantages. Don't limit yourself to just a few items: there should be 15-20 items on the list. Then calculate what will be more. Profit!

The essence of the method: even if you endlessly scroll through the pros and cons in your head, you are unlikely to see the full picture. Psychologists advise making written lists: this helps to organize the accumulated information, visually see the relationship between pros and cons, and draw a conclusion based on pure mathematics. Why not?

2. Create habits

This method is suitable if you find it difficult to make a choice everyday issues. For example, it’s not worth increasing the salary of a new employee, or it’s not worth it yet, put a call back from Envybox or another company on the site. What to eat for dinner, in the end, French fries or fish with vegetables. A difficult decision, of course, but still not a matter of life and death. In this case, it is useful to consciously create habits for yourself and follow them in the future.

For example, introduce an iron rule: increase employee salaries only after six months of working in your company. Buying office supplies exclusively from Skrepka is cheaper. Eat light and healthy dishes- you yourself will thank you soon. Well, with the call back you get the idea, yes.

The essence of the method: following your habits, you will make simple decisions automatically, saving yourself from unnecessary thoughts, without wasting precious time on nonsense. But then, when you need to do something truly responsible and important choice, you will be fully armed.

3. “If-then” method

This method is suitable for resolving current problems in business, team, and personal life. For example, your employee speaks impolitely to customers and does not respond to comments. Question: should I fire him immediately or try to re-educate him? Try using the “if-then” technique. Tell yourself: if he again mistreats a client, you will deprive him of his bonus. If the incident happens again, fire me.

The essence of the method: as in the first case, this is the creation of conditional boundaries within which you will act. The burden will immediately be lifted from the soul, and life will become much easier. And most importantly, you don’t have to waste time thinking and thinking about the fate of a careless employee.

It was invented by the famous American journalist Susie Welch.

The rule is: before you make a difficult decision, stop and answer three questions:

• what will you think about it 10 minutes later;
• How will you feel about your choice in 10 months;
• What will you say in 10 years?

Let's give an example. Let's take young man, who works as a manager, doesn’t like his job, but puts up with it because he needs the money. He dreams of quitting his job, taking out a loan and opening his own business - a small pub, but at the same time he is desperately afraid of going broke and losing everything he has. In general, a classic case when a bird in the hand is preferred to a pie in the sky. It’s difficult for our hero to take the first step - quit his hated job. Let's say he does this. In ten minutes he is unlikely to have time to regret his decision. In 10 months, he will already have time to rent the premises, equip the pub and receive clients. And if it doesn’t work out - he’ll find a job as a manager anyway - so what’s there to regret? Well, in 10 years, this choice is unlikely to have any significance at all: either the business will continue, or our hero will work in another place - one of two things.

It turns out that if you follow the 10/10/10 rule, making a decision no longer becomes so challenging task, because a person clearly understands what awaits him in the future.

Remember, as in Yesenin: “You can’t see a face face to face, a big one is seen at a distance.” As long as the future seems foggy and vague, the choice of solution will be postponed again and again. By making concrete plans, presenting his emotions in detail, a person rationalizes the problem and stops being afraid of the unknown - because it becomes simple and understandable.

5. Solve within 15 minutes

Paradoxical as it may seem, the most important, strategic decisions should be made in 15 minutes.

A familiar situation: a company has a serious problem that requires immediate action, but the point is that no one knows the right solution. For example, competitors have done something nasty, and it is not clear what to do: respond in kind or get out of the situation with dignity. Or the crisis has hit your company, and you are confused: to move to a less prestigious place or to lay off a dozen employees.

How can you make the right choice, and is there even one? And you begin to procrastinate, unable to make a decision, in the hope that everything will resolve itself. If you don’t know which solution is correct, just imagine that there is no correct answer to this life problem. Give yourself 15 minutes and make any, absolutely any, decision. Yes, at first glance this may seem crazy. What about planning, and what about testing and verifying solutions? Ok, ok, if you can quickly and with a minimum of investment check the correctness of the solution, check it. If this requires months of time and millions of rubles, it is better to abandon this idea and immediately record the time.

The essence of the method: Needless to say, if you waste time, nothing gets solved: crises don’t go away, rental prices don’t go down, and competitors become even sharper. One thing is not decision drags others along with it, the business sags and becomes ineffective. As they say, it is better to do than to regret, than not to do and regret.

The same thing we wrote about at the beginning. Execute or pardon, buy a car or not, expand or wait for better times. One of two things, hit or miss, oh, it was not! But who said that a problem has only two solutions?

Get out of the narrow framework, try to look at the situation more broadly. It is not necessary to organize a large-scale expansion of production - it is enough to launch a couple of new positions. Instead of an expensive car, you can purchase a more modest option and apply disciplinary measures to the offending employee for the first time.

The essence of the method: when there are only two solution options, there is a greater chance of choosing the right decision, and many deliberately simplify their lives by dividing the situation into yes and no, black and white. But life is much more diverse: don’t be afraid to look it in the eye and accept everything possible options. The solution may be a compromise, a rejection of both extremes in favor of a third, completely unexpected solution, or a successful combination of two options. This often happens when the owner of a small business cannot decide what to do: sit on the phone, deliver orders, or engage only in management activities. Start combining - and then you will see what works best. This is what will happen optimal solution Problems.

7. Method of eliminating options

Now, on the contrary: imagine that it is simply impossible for you to make some decision. It doesn’t matter what the reason is - according to the terms of the game, this is completely excluded for you.

For example, you don't know whether you should invite your best friend to work. On the one hand, he seems to be a good person, but on the other hand, it is unknown whether he will get this position and how this will affect your future friendship.

So, you have two options: apply for a friend or find another, more professional candidate. Now imagine that a friend has already been offered a job - that is, his candidacy no longer exists. What would you do in this case: post an ad on the Internet, use word of mouth, conduct interviews in person?

Think about how many talented people could come to you, and ask yourself: do I really need that dude? You’ve thought about it - now act: submit advertisements, call your friends and schedule interviews.

The essence of the method: and again we break the boundaries of the usual, but not expanding them, but, on the contrary, narrowing them. Sometimes there is the only correct decision that we do not see behind the forest of false ideas and beliefs.

8. Remember the Big Idea

About the Great Mission, the Big Idea - the very thing on which your entire company and entire business is based. If you have already developed it, then making a decision will be easier for you.

You just need to ask yourself: does the decision made contradict Big Idea? If you don’t yet understand what this idea is, at least figure out what is most important to you. If you want to make money, make sure that the decision does not lead to loss of profit. Strive to make customers happy - pay all attention to the service, whether the quality of your service will suffer.

If you act only by honest methods, check whether your choice does not contradict moral standards, and whether your own conscience will not gnaw at you later.

The essence of the method: everything is simple here, do not deviate from your priorities - and you will be happy. Remember that immediate gain, which will later come back to haunt you with failures and loss of resources, is the wrong decision. An unscrupulous act that goes against your values ​​is a bad decision. Sometimes it is better to lose profit, but live in harmony with yourself and your life's work.

Ekaterina Journalist