Trying to get other people to accept someone else's point of view is not an easy task. The stubborn reluctance of many to even listen to someone else’s opinion is so firmly based on confidence in their own rightness that sometimes any attempts to convince another person are a complete fiasco.

Is it possible learn the art of influencing people and where should a beginner start? How to influence other people? Women's magazine answers these questions website.

How to influence other people: secrets of success

Agree when we're talking about about insignificant and unimportant things, it is stupid to waste your precious time, nerves and efforts on convincing your opponent. But sometimes a lot depends on the decision of another person (concluding an important contract, executing a deal on favorable terms, purchasing real estate, etc.).

These simple rules for successful communication are designed to help you the difficult task of persuasion. But perhaps, having studied them, you will forever solve for yourself a tricky problem called: how to influence other people.

These the rules are very simple, but it’s their simplicity that makes them so effective.

Rules for influencing other people from the site

Rule one: explain your point of view using direct facts that are directly relevant to the case. Use not only convincing evidence, but also friendly tone, body language, most suitable time and situation. Key Point: Provide full information in support of your opinion.

Rule two: listen. You can learn a lot about the subject of conversation simply by listening to your interlocutor.

Let me ask you questions, answer them directly, in the same manner that you used to explain your point of view. Do not be condescending, do not reject other people's thoughts.

Listen to what the other person thinks and how he thinks. Make the most of what you have learned to change the other person's opinion in your favor.

Rule three: sometimes the only person interested may be you. If the other person is not at all interested in what you have to offer, he won't even listen to you. Therefore it is important first get him interested and only then “process”.

Rule four : Warm assurances must be backed up in practical ways.

If you can prove in practice that your point of view is better, then it will be easier for the interlocutor to make a decision in your favor. It is difficult to deny obvious facts and evidence.

Rule five: ask your interlocutor to change his mind. Yes, A simple request sometimes works wonders. Perhaps the person even doesn't understand what they want from him, so tell him about it directly.

These 5 simple steps will help you influence other people's opinions without resorting to rude flattery, humiliation and importunity. Don't forget, excessive persistence often has the opposite effect. After all, the art of persuasion does not tolerate arrogance and requires thorough preparation.

And finally

The process of influencing other people can be easy and quick if you are sincere and friendly with your interlocutor. Use our simple rules influence on other people and we will make you happy in your successful and stylish life.

Since time immemorial, people have learned to manipulate others for their own purposes. Mind games require the ability to mislead people without giving yourself away. A number of techniques and acting skills will help you control the thoughts and emotions of others.

Steps

Learn to convince people

    Don't go out of character. If you are called a deceiver or accused of trying to manipulate consciousness, then do not admit it. You can always turn the situation to your advantage and convince people of paranoid thoughts. Pretend that the accusations hurt you.

    • If you admit to manipulation, you will lose trust.

  1. Develop charisma. We treat well those people next to whom we feel special and happy. Charismatic individuals often succeed because they possess certain qualities. Use the following tricks:

    • when meeting and parting, always call the person by name;
    • Maintain eye contact during a conversation;
    • give compliments;
    • try to find out the interests of your interlocutor;
    • show that you are not indifferent to the person’s feelings and emotions.

  2. Be confident. Show a person by your own example that you need to value yourself. This will convince him to listen to you and treat you with more trust.

    • Proudly say things that are true or false. Pretend that you believe your words in order to convince others of them.

  3. Show feigned vulnerability. People will happily believe in your sincerity if you share your feelings and emotions with them. Convince everyone that you are open and have nothing to hide from others.

Study those around you

    Study other manipulators. If you meet a person who will use mind games on you, or you meet a successful manipulator, then understand the reasons for his success. Study manners and words to discover techniques that work.

    Watch emotional people. Many people succumb to emotional tricks. So, people prone to sympathy and empathy need to be convinced that you are suffering greatly. They will want to help you and will do whatever you want.

    Play the victim. This tactic requires you to win the person's favor. You should act as if a person with an impeccable moral code has fallen victim evil forces for no apparent reason. Make the other person feel like they simply have to agree with every word you say.

    • Feign saintly naivety and say, “I can’t figure out what I’m doing wrong. Why do troubles always happen to me?" Pretend that you sincerely do not understand the reasons for what is happening to you.

  1. Notice people with a guilt complex. If you meet a person who feels guilty, then use this weakness. Guilt is a heavy burden for many people, so they are ready to do anything to get rid of this feeling. Ask for a favor and try to make them feel guilty. If you are rejected, try saying the following:

    Distinguish between people with a logical mindset. If a person is guided by facts and does not believe unsubstantiated words, then emotions alone will not outwit him. Find a way to back up your words with logical arguments so that they sound convincing.

Use mixed signals when communicating with your partner

  1. Take your time to respond to messages and phone calls. It will be difficult for a person who responds at the first call to create an aura of mystery or resort to tricks. Don't rush to answer the phone after the first ring. Let the girl think that you are very busy.

    • If she sent you a playful greeting in the morning, then respond no earlier than an hour later. So the girl will begin to guess where you are now and with whom.
    • The same tactics apply to calls. If a girl calls you, don't answer. Call back in a few hours or even the next day. Your busyness will present a mystery.

  2. Flirt with others. When you spend time alone, be romantic. Show that you have excellent mutual understanding and that the relationship can be successful. Then, in the company of other people, start flirting with girls. Your friend will probably start scratching her head.

    • Engage in conversations with other girls and tell jokes to make them smile.

  3. Disappear for a few days. For example, you have a great time every day and feelings arise between you. Disappear for a few days to confuse the girl.

    • If a girl calls or writes messages asking to meet or talk, then write back that you are busy. Speak at length and let them know that you will call back in a couple of days when you have a chance.

  4. Say everything is fine when it's not. If your partner disappoints or upsets you, then say that everything is fine and you understand everything, and then behave like an upset person. This will certainly confuse the girl.

    • If a girl cancels a meeting with you, then say: “Don’t worry, I understand everything. We’ll meet another time.” The next time you meet, behave with restraint, laugh and smile less, and also show that you are sad. If a girl asks about the reasons for sadness, then say: “Everything is fine.”

Instructions

Agree that a person has the right to his point of view. The person close to you is not your slave. And he is not obliged to do as you want. Even if his behavior hurts you, he has a choice - to do just that.
Naturally, you should not be in a victim state. But to change the situation, you need to start by recognizing the other. Agree within yourself to look at a person as an individual who has his own views, tastes and principles of life. I'm sorry if this person has offended you in any way.

Find out what the dream is. Don’t think that he just wants to sleep and watch TV, and nothing else in life. A person's dreams often come from his childhood. Ask questions, talk to the person until you find out what he dreams of or has ever dreamed of.
Find out what he tried to do to get closer to his. Often people's bad behavior is due precisely to the fact that they are desperate to achieve their goal. Don't give any advice at this step, just listen. You must understand well what the person's problem is. Try to look at life through his eyes.

Find information about how other people have achieved a similar dream. Here you will have to work hard. We need to find the good things in life. You will have to read a lot of books and articles. It would be nice to meet people who have achieved success.
Conduct this information gathering in secret. Your task is to be well prepared for the next step. You will have to talk to the person about whether his dream is achievable. For him to be inspired, you yourself need this idea. And that's why you need evidence. Look for them until you find them.

Show the person how he can get closer to his dream. Be careful and wait until the person is ready for such a conversation. Create the necessary environment for this. Tell us everything you know. Express confidence that he can succeed.
At the end of the conversation, say that you have a small request. And explain what you expect from him. Because you cared about his dream, he may be sensitive and open to your requests. It is likely that you will find a compromise regarding which hurts you personally.

note

Don't try to manipulate a person. By showing care and love, you touch a person's soul. Trying to somehow manipulate, you will only destroy the relationship.

Helpful advice

A person has the right to disagree with you and not be influenced by you. In this case, leave him alone and show him by personal example how to live. Be patient.

Sources:

  • How Chinese doctors affect people

Very often we see our loved ones making mistakes without realizing that they are making them. We try to point them out to them, to help them figure it out, but we fail in our attempts - our actions do not meet the desired reaction and are taken as criticism. In order to provide influence on person and to help him become better, you need to follow a number of rules.

Instructions

The first step is location to. No matter how many years you have known this person, your communication exists in the here and now, it is local. First of all, be interested in what is going on with him, not necessarily what you want to change. You must be sincere. Talk to him, smiling all the time, encourage him to talk about himself. Talk to him only about what he needs and try your best to help him feel important. The more you succeed at this stage, the easier it will be for you in the persuasion stage.

When starting out, don't convince. It sounds paradoxical, but in fact it is necessary for you to feel the thoughts you need. In this case, he may doubt them, and then you will support him in the direction that you need. If you bring thoughts into his mind, you may have to deal with objections, with an argument that may get out of control.

Appeal to noble motives. Everyone needs only two things to do one thing or another: and encouragement. Justify his potential actions with objectivity and reward him with the fact that you yourself support him. By creating artificial support, you can overcome any doubt person and lead him to the thought that will help him become better.

Video on the topic

Helpful advice

Remember that the main goal of the influence technique is not to harm a person, but to help him. Use it only for good purposes.

Sources:

  • how to influence people

Subconscious is responsible for actions that you perform automatically, without thinking. It controls not only the instinct of self-preservation, but is also a container for vital important information. All your fears, complexes, values ​​and attitudes are embedded in the subconscious. To some extent it controls consciousness person, causing a certain range of feelings (guilt, fear, euphoria, etc.) and pushing towards specific behavior. If the subconscious has such power, then, having learned to influence it, you can easily influence person.

Instructions

One of the most famous methods of influencing the subconscious is hypnosis. With the help of hypnosis, one is put into a doze or pseudo-sleep, which is why consciousness is inhibited, and a person can be suggested to do anything. A type of hypnosis is widely used. It helps a person get rid of addictions, fears, emotional and personal disorders, and sexual problems.

Neuro-linguistic programming is also a way to influence the subconscious. You copy posture, facial expressions, gestures, speak at the same pace as him, keep the same time interval between pauses, speak only to areas of interest person Topics. Thus, you easily gain trust and become a friend. Impact on person carried out through several channels of perception. When he hears, sees, and feels the same thing, it is difficult for him to resist such an onslaught of information.

Subliminal methods are successful when influencing the subconscious. Many have heard about the 25th frame effect. Or in films where the hero uses a certain brand of phone. In this way, the viewer is forced to buy the same phone.

Hypnotize person It is possible in an alert state. This type of hypnosis is used by street scammers: gypsies, thieves, pickpockets. All their actions are aimed at making a person freeze, look at them with wide open, surprised eyes, a center of excitement will form in his brain, and gradually he will lose the ability to control his consciousness. With the help of a sudden appearance, unexpected words, sympathy, joining the state of the victim, scammers evoke unconscious sympathy for themselves. And they can do absolutely whatever they want with the victim.

Sources:

  • how to influence people with facial expressions and gestures

Subconscious- this is the most mysterious and little-studied part of the human psyche. Even more mysterious are the possibilities that the subconscious has. All the world's leading civilizations have tried to solve this riddle and have achieved considerable success.

You will need

  • - free time;
  • - a secluded room without extraneous noise;
  • - the desire to work on your subconscious.

Instructions

Choose an area of ​​your life that needs improvement. It may be like your condition inner world, your behavior, position in society, etc. remember, that main feature is that it does not distinguish false information from true information. If you repeat for a long time that 7 * 7 = 48, then after a certain period, when asked how much 7 * 7 is, you will mechanically answer 48 in amazement, and then you will remember the correct answer for a long time.

Subconscious plays a huge role in our life. A belief system rooted in the subconscious determines our entire life. One person easily solves his problems, gets out of any problem, because his subconscious is tuned to this. Another has difficulty coping with even basic tasks. He is no worse, has the same high potential, but his subconscious mind fails. If you use the subconscious correctly, you can achieve dizzying success.

But how can you “program” your subconscious for success? It will not be possible to look into it and remove negative attitudes, like a broken part from a car. Old harmful beliefs can be replaced with new positive affirmations. This is a long-term and gradual process that requires diligence on your part.

Having decided on the area of ​​life activity that you want to transform, begin to formulate your attitudes. The installation should be short, easy to remember, and understandable. Formulate your attitude in the present tense, as if what you want has already happened to you. Instead of “I will” you should say “I am rich.” By formulating what you want in the future tense, you thereby delay its implementation in an imaginary future, which, as a rule, never comes. Eliminate the particle “not” from your attitudes; instead of “I’m no longer sick,” you should say “I’m healthy.”

Then take a magnetic board (in everyday life it is called “Write-Erase”). You will need this board to record your settings. It is not recommended to take notebooks and notepads. Firstly, you will waste a lot of paper, and secondly, you will experience constant anxiety that someone will accidentally discover your notes and find out about your deepest problems. A magnetic board will save you from both problems.

Now let's decide on the class time. You should write your settings on a magnetic board every night before going to bed. It is important to do this just before bedtime, because the greatest power of suggestion is realized in the so-called “drowsy state,” when a person goes to sleep. Why is it important to record settings? First, when recording, motor memory is triggered. Secondly, a person looks at the recorded information (visual memory is triggered). Thirdly, he pronounces it unconsciously. Fourthly, he listens to what he says (auditory memory). Such repeated repetition of the same information through different channels of perception ensures the success of this technique.

Sources:

  • how to work with your subconscious

You have to influence people with words every day: on the bus, in the office, in the classroom, at home and even in the store. Any word you say has a certain effect on a person. To get the desired result in the end, you need to be able to manipulate words.

Instructions

If you intend to convince someone of something, then first you should agree with several of his arguments. This will cause him to react positively. After this, try to express your point of view, you can use, for example, the following expressions: “You noticed everything correctly, but...” or “Your arguments are brilliant, but I thought about...”.

If you plan to get your interlocutor to agree with something, then try asking a few questions first, to which he will certainly answer “yes.” Alternatively, these could be the following constructions: “Do you have a few minutes to talk with me?”, then “Great. I would like to know if you are interested in healthy eating for your children? After you hear the second “yes,” you can confidently ask the key question: “Would you like to receive a CD with a recording of a seminar by the famous Professor of Nottingham on healthy eating for babies? By the way, have you heard of him? No? What are you saying? The whole city is just talking about this…”, then you can continue according to the circumstances.

If you want to convince a child, then, most importantly, be sincere. Kids always sense falsehood, and then it will be quite difficult to convince them. Keeping a calm tone and looking your child in the eyes, tell him in detail why you need to do this. You can appeal with arguments such as “I tried it, I liked it!” or “Your dad always does this.”

Finally, if you were unable to exert any influence on a person words, don't be upset. Break up with him on a warm note and agree to talk again in a couple of weeks. Perhaps then your finest hour will come.

The term “subconscious” refers to processes occurring outside a person’s conscious control. Scientists began its active research in the middle of the last century, hoping to use it for practical purposes. Huge amounts of money were spent on the study, but it was never possible to completely penetrate the secrets of the subconscious.

A century ago, scientists discovered that the subconscious mind stores a huge amount of information. Everything that a person has ever heard is deposited in him and can be retrieved - for example, with the help of. Characteristic feature The subconscious is that it notices even those things to which a person does not pay any attention. For example, walking along the sidewalk, you don’t notice the license plates of cars standing on the side of the road; you simply don’t need it. But the subconscious records them with absolute accuracy; nothing ever escapes it. That is why law enforcement agencies were primarily interested in working with him. Under hypnosis, a person could remember the smallest nuances of a situation, which often helped in solving crimes.

Some researchers quite reasonably claim that the subconscious can do almost anything. Whole line human problems are connected precisely with it, it is no coincidence that psychologists pay great attention to working with the subconscious. It is precisely this that is responsible for many diseases: in order to be healed, it is enough to convince the subconscious that you are healthy. But this is precisely the most difficult task, since it is very difficult to suggest something to the subconscious. A typical example of using the power of the subconscious is the placebo method - a person is given dummies instead of a real medicine, and he is healed because he believes in the power of the drug.

There are cases when in a critical situation people showed unimaginable strength. During the fire, a decrepit old woman pulled out a chest with things, which several people were then able to lift with difficulty. A woman overturned a car, under which her son was trapped. There are many similar examples, and they all indicate that a person does not use his capabilities to the fullest. The path to mastering hidden abilities lies precisely through working with the subconscious.

One of the well-known ways to influence the subconscious is the use of affirmations. The method consists of pronouncing phrases out loud or mentally aimed at achieving a particular goal. Affirmations always sound positive - for example, “I am getting younger every day,” “I am in complete harmony with people and the world,” “Life is beautiful and amazing,” etc. and so on. All statements must describe the situation you want to see. The options “I will be absolutely healthy” or “I am not sick” are incorrect, it should be “I am absolutely healthy.”

The use of affirmations can help in many situations, but in general the effectiveness of this technique is quite low. The main reason is the barriers of the mind on the way to the subconscious, preventing it from being convinced of anything. One way to remove barriers is hypnosis. The classic one is well known, when the hands of a person under hypnosis touch a pencil, and they say that it is lit. A blister immediately appears on the hand, as the subconscious mind believes the direct suggestion. Under hypnosis, a person can be told that he is a brilliant poet, and he will immediately begin to compose wonderful poems. Tell him that he is an artist and he can paint a beautiful picture. Everything that the subconscious believes in becomes reality.

The subconscious is psychological processes that occur without conscious control. Influencing the subconscious is an opportunity to change your life for the better. Every person can learn to influence it; you just need to know a few effective techniques.

You will need

  • Notepad, pen.

Instructions

Write down positive statements in the present tense each night before you go to bed. For example, you want to increase your income. Write it down in your notebook as follows: “As of today, my wage amounts to..." Instead of dots, write the desired amount. Write slowly, focusing only on this thought. After writing it down, say the statement out loud and go to bed. This practice should be done daily for two weeks, then every other day for two months. Don't try to give your brain a huge job right away. First, take on 1-2 statements, work through them, get the result, then proceed to the next ones.

Another way to influence the subconscious is to think figuratively. If you dream of resetting overweight, imagine yourself looking slimmer. Try to convince yourself that you have already gotten rid of excess weight, and feel lightness in your body. Remember this feeling and image, try to stay in it for as long as possible. Practice this technique regularly and it will work; you won’t even notice how you will begin to achieve previously unattainable goals.

Psychologists say that the subconscious does not understand jokes. Therefore, watch your words and thoughts. If you constantly think “who needs me”, “I have so many problems”, etc., rest assured that your subconscious will do everything to make sure that you are not useful to anyone the right person with a lot of troubles.

Complimenting yourself daily is a powerful weapon for boosting your self-esteem. At first you will be embarrassed, perhaps you will feel a sense of shame, but after a short period of time you will gain confidence in yourself and your abilities.

Video on the topic

Helpful advice

If you encounter troubles, don't dwell on them. Better take a shower, imagining how streams of water wash away all the bad things from you. This method of working with the subconscious also gives excellent results. Thanks to him, you will not get stuck in your problems, but will begin to look for a way out of them.

Sources:

  • influence on the subconscious

The ability to influence others helps a lot in life. People with this quality achieve high positions and acquire the necessary connections and acquaintances. They are leaders in the team and real masters of the house.

Instructions

To influence others, you need to have strength of character. But this is not the only important thing. You definitely need to look like an influencer. And this means: wear a good stylish suit, have expensive accessories, trim your hair on time, take care of your facial skin and manicure. The first impression is very important. And if a person sees in you an equal or a person of a higher rank, you can easily influence him.

You will not be able to influence a person with a scandal and shouting, but will only anger him. But a successful compliment will open all doors for you. And don't forget about small gifts. Beautifully packaged sweets or a stylish pen will speed up the process of fulfilling your request. A person who has given a nice gift wants to respond in kind. And if you don’t help in any special way, then at least fulfill your duties without delay.

After you have loudly and clearly expressed everything you need, lower your tone and switch to a confidential whisper. This will make the interlocutor lean closer to you and listen to your words. This technique forces your opponent to focus on your problem. He hangs on every word, afraid of missing something.

When the conversation comes to an end, say what you need again. Build the phrase like this: “Did I understand correctly what you will do...” and then go on to list everything that you are asking your interlocutor to do. This way of asking the question most often prompts the answer “Yes.” And this is exactly what you need. Thank your opponent for his attention and ask when you can find out about the fulfillment of the promise. Clearly discuss the deadlines; this disciplines your interlocutor and forces him to plan his affairs in such a way as to have time to fulfill your requests.

Video on the topic

There are several ways to control others. The most productive way is to establish friendly communication. For good man people are ready for a lot. The second way is to take the position of a child. Then it will be possible to control others with the help of affection and compliments. The third way is to stand head and shoulders above those around you. But it is not always effective, since what is said in a commanding tone often causes a negative reaction.

Instructions

If you decide that friendly communication is the most suitable for you with people, learn to smile sincerely. Look openly into the eyes of your interlocutor. Do not start the conversation with business issues; first, take an interest in the opponent’s mood, talk about the weather, traffic jams, etc. This will relax the interlocutor and show that you are disposed towards him. Continue the conversation in a friendly tone, ask if you can switch to “you”. This is very important point. Once people begin to treat each other easily, they become more relaxed and ready to make concessions. On a subconscious level, “you” equals “friend.” And they don’t put obstacles in the way of friends and try to help them in everything.

If you are closer to the child's position, you need to act differently. Extol your interlocutor by praising his character in every possible way. Tell him how smart he is, what a stylish suit he has, what an expensive pen, etc. The person will feel superior to you, and you will win him over. He will try to help you in all matters. After all, you so sincerely admire his excellent qualities that he himself believed in them and simply cannot help but show them.

The third way to influence others is to prove to everyone that you are demanding and have the right to it. This behavior will appeal to those who are used to achieving everything through strength and strength of character. Usually, senior managers, teachers who are accustomed to the subordination of schoolchildren, family members, etc. influence people this way. This method is effective only until there is no more strong man who will not allow himself to be put under pressure. Then a conflict will begin, which is unlikely to help build productive communication. Although at the level of small services, arrogant behavior often works. But people who are too demanding of others often lose friends and become outcasts in the work team.

To influence people, you can choose one tactic, or alternate all three. The latter is more productive. Depending on the situation, you can be a friend, a child, or a strict adult. Then you will be able to get everything you want from others.

Video on the topic

What does it mean to positively influence people? To lift their spirits, motivate them to succeed, and support them in times of failure. It is impossible to positively influence all people. Rather, this applies to our close people - friends, relatives, colleagues.

Instructions

How to cheer someone up? This is not as simple as it might seem at first glance. It is not enough to tell him “cheer up”, “be cheerful”, “hang in there”, etc. People may have real reasons to be sad. If you see that a person is sad about something, ask him what happened. He may want to tell you about himself. At such a moment, to help a person, sometimes it is enough to simply listen to him. In other cases, good advice or participation may be needed. Here it is worth mentioning another person who was previously in the same sad situation, and telling how exactly he got out of it. This story should not sound like a direct guide to action. The main task is to show a person that he is not alone in his misfortune and that there is a way out of any situation.

How to motivate for success? Motivation can be positive and negative. If you see that a person can achieve success and has all the necessary qualities and resources, pay his attention to these factors. Tell him about his talents, abilities, best qualities. And he took decisive steps, pointing out the negative consequences of inaction. Let him see the desired version of events and understand the possibility of an undesirable development of the situation.

How to support during periods of failure? For your support to be truly valuable to a person, you need to understand what exactly is valuable to him. Help does not have to be financial. Other resources may also be significant. This, for example, is the time you spend communicating. Both your experience and simply attention can be significant. Often, just being there is enough.

It is important to bring positivity to a person in everything. Call him by name, take an interest in his affairs, find time to communicate with him. Naturally, we cannot devote enough time to all the people we meet along the way, but we are still able to show a little participation.

note

Refrain from direct advice and intrusive recommendations, be prepared to step aside

Helpful advice

Be interested in other people, be involved, listen, observe

One of the most important characteristics of a successful person is the ability to influence other people without words. A person who is able to direct the thoughts of those around him the right direction, has enormous opportunities in modern society.

Among our circle there is a special category of people who have firmly established the status of influential people. You've probably noticed how much respect and authority such people enjoy. Their phrases are quoted, and their requests are immediately fulfilled. But how to achieve such a result? How can we learn to influence people so that they change their decisions in our favor, respect our choices and are inspired by our actions? Let's try to understand this subtle issue.

Factors influencing human behavior

To become an authority among others, it is important to know about the existence of certain factors that influence a person. First of all, this is the perception of the surrounding reality and the way a person has chosen to interact with it. This may be acceptance of reality, rejection of it, or avoidance of it. How much a person likes his surroundings and what he does can be seen in his respect for others, passion for his work, willingness to help and sacrifice his own interests. The person’s position becomes visible in behavior, i.e. constant internal attitude towards people and various situations.

Let's consider some factors influencing a person:

  1. Circle of friends. The environment may include various contacts and connections: emotional and work. This includes the circle of immediate communication, which a person completely trusts, the circle of periodic communication, which includes official and business contacts, and the circle of occasional communication, which includes personal acquaintances and business partners.
  2. The role of a person in a team. It is also an important factor shaping his behavior. A person’s role is formed in connection with his psychological characteristics and the place he occupies in the management hierarchy. Depending on the role that a person has chosen for himself, his behavior and actions can be predicted.
  3. Type of behavior. The choice of how to influence people also depends on this factor. There are four types of behavior - independent, leadership-oriented, neutral and dependent. But, even after understanding what type of behavior a person has chosen for himself, do not rush to draw conclusions about him, since his choice could well have been imposed by others or chosen due to circumstances. In any case, it is better to get to know the person better.

How to influence other people?

Experts say that influencing the human psyche is quite simple. For this it is important to know some rules

communications, the implementation of which will make your personality invaluable to others.

Everyone can have an impact on a person's life. The main thing is that this does not happen out of malicious intent. Train yourself to have clear diction and a pleasant, confident voice. Be open to people and positive. And then soon you will be called an influential person.

Before we begin, it is worth noting that none of the methods listed below fall under what can be called the “dark art of influencing” people. Anything that could harm a person or affect his dignity is not included here. These are ways in which you can win friends and influence people using psychology without making anyone feel bad about themselves.

Ask for a favor

Cunning: Ask someone to do a favor for you (known as the Benjamin Franklin effect). Legend has it that Benjamin Franklin once wanted to win the favor of a man who didn't like him. He asked the man to lend him a rare book, and when he received it, he thanked him very kindly. As a result, the man who didn't really want to even talk to Franklin became friends with him. In the words of Franklin: “He who has once done you a good deed will be more disposed to do something good for you again than one to whom you yourself are indebted.” Scientists decided to test this theory, and eventually found that those people whom the researcher asked for a personal favor were much more favorable towards the specialist compared to other groups of people.
Influence on human behavior

Aim higher

Cunning: always ask for more than you initially need and then lower the bar. This technique is sometimes called the “door-in-the-face approach.” You turn to a person with a request that is really too high, which he will most likely refuse. After that, you return with a “lower rank” request, namely with what you actually need from this person. This trick may seem counterintuitive to you, but the idea is that the person will feel bad after rejecting you. However, he will explain this to himself as the unreasonableness of the request. Therefore, the next time you turn to him with your real need, he will feel obligated to help you. Scientists, after testing this principle in practice, came to the conclusion that it actually works, because the person who is first approached with a very “big” request, and then return to him and ask for a small one, he feels that it is he who should help you.

The influence of a name on a person.

Call names

Cunning: Use the person's name or title as appropriate. Dale Carnegie, author of How to Win Friends and Influence People, believes that mentioning a person's name frequently in conversation is incredibly important. He emphasizes that a person’s name in any language is the sweetest combination of sounds for him. Carnegie says that a name is the main component of human identity, therefore, when we hear it, we once again receive confirmation of our importance. This is why we feel more positive towards a person who confirms our importance in the world. However, using a title or other form of address in a speech can also have a strong impact. The idea is that if you behave like a certain type of person, then you will become that person. This is somewhat like a prophecy. To use this technique to influence other people, you can address them as you would like them to be. As a result, they will begin to think of themselves in this way. It’s very simple, if you want to get closer to a certain person, then call him “friend” or “comrade” more often. Or, when referring to someone you would like to work for, you can call him “boss.” But keep in mind that sometimes this can backfire on you.

The influence of words on a person.

Flatter

Cunning: flattery can get you where you need to go. This may seem obvious at first glance, but there are some important caveats. To begin with, it is worth noting that if flattery is not sincere, then it will most likely do more harm than good. However, scientists who have studied flattery and people's reactions to it have discovered several very important things. Simply put, people always try to maintain cognitive balance by trying to organize their thoughts and feelings in a similar way. Therefore, if you flatter a person whose self-esteem is high, and the flattery is sincere, he will like you more, because the flattery will coincide with what he thinks about himself. However, if you flatter someone whose self-esteem is suffering, there may be negative consequences.

It is likely that he will treat you worse because it does not intersect with how he perceives himself. Of course, this does not mean that a person with low self-esteem should be humiliated.

Ways to influence people.

Reflect other people's behavior

Cunning: Be a mirror image of the other person's behavior. Mirroring behavior is also known as mimicry, and it is something that certain types of people have in their nature. People with this skill are called chameleons because they try to blend into their environment by copying others' behavior, mannerisms, and even speech. However, this skill can be used quite deliberately and is a great way to get liked. Researchers studied mimicry and found that those who were copied had very favorable attitudes towards the person who copied them. Experts also came to another, more interesting conclusion. They found that people who had role models had much more favorable attitudes toward people in general, even those who weren't involved in the study. It is likely that the reason for this reaction lies in the following. Having someone who mirrors your behavior validates your worth. People feel more confident in themselves, thus they are happier and have good attitude towards other people.

Psychology of influencing people.

Take advantage of fatigue

Cunning: ask for a favor when you see that the person is tired. When a person is tired, he becomes more receptive to any information, be it a simple statement about something or a request. The reason is that when a person gets tired, it is not only on the physical level, his mental energy reserves are also depleted. When you make a request to a tired person, most likely you will not get a definite answer right away, but will hear: “I will do it tomorrow,” because he will not want to make any decisions for this moment. The next day, most likely, the person will actually comply with your request, because on a subconscious level, most people try to keep their word, so we make sure that what we say matches what we do.

Psychological influence on a person.

Offer something that a person cannot refuse

Cunning: start the conversation with something that the other person cannot refuse, and you will achieve what you need. This is the flip side of the door-in-the-face approach. Instead of starting the conversation with a request, you start with something small. As soon as a person agrees to help you in small ways, or simply agrees to something, you can use the “heavy artillery.” Experts have tested this theory using marketing approaches. They started by asking people to show their support for protecting rainforests and environment, which is a very simple request. Once support has been received, scientists have found that it is now much easier to convince people to buy products that contribute to this support. However, you should not start with one request and immediately move on to another. Psychologists have found that it is much more effective to take a break of 1-2 days.

Techniques for influencing people.

Keep calm

Cunning: You should not correct a person when he is wrong. In his famous book, Carnegie also emphasized that one should not tell people that they are wrong. This, as a rule, will lead to nothing, and you will simply fall out of favor with this person. There is actually a way to show disagreement while still polite conversation, not telling anyone that he is wrong, but striking the ego of the interlocutor to the core. The method was invented by Ray Ransberger and Marshall Fritz. The idea is quite simple: instead of arguing, listen to what the person is saying and then try to understand how they feel and why. You should then explain to the person the points you share with them and use that as a starting point to clarify your position. This will make him more sympathetic to you and he will be more likely to listen to what you have to say without losing face.

The influence of people on each other.

Repeat the words of your interlocutor

Cunning: paraphrase what the person says and repeat what they said. This is one of the most amazing ways to influence other people. This way you show your interlocutor that you really understand him, capture his feelings and your empathy is sincere. That is, by paraphrasing the words of your interlocutor, you will achieve his favor very easily. This phenomenon is known as reflective listening. Research has shown that when doctors use this technique, people open up more to them and their “collaboration” is more fruitful. It's easy to use when chatting with friends too. If you listen to what they say and then paraphrase what they said, forming a question for confirmation, they will feel very comfortable with you. You will have a stronger friendship and they will listen more actively to what you have to say because you have managed to show that you care about them.

Methods of influencing people.

Nod your head

Cunning: Nod your head a little during a conversation, especially if you want to ask your interlocutor for something. Scientists have found that when a person nods while listening to someone, they are more likely to agree with what is being said. They also found that if the person you are talking to nods, most of the time you will also nod. This is understandable because people often unconsciously imitate the behavior of another person, especially one with whom interaction will benefit them. So if you want to add weight to what you say, nod regularly while speaking. The person you're talking to will have a hard time not nodding and will start to feel positive about the information you're presenting without even realizing it.